Humor It's time to laugh!

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
and noticed a slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal
Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such
as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.
And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House
Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail.
What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

Reply: Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I
THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If
all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run
the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default
to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7..0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav
files.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another
Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have a limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly. You might consider additional
software to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,
Tech Support